July has definitely been a month of adjustment and self-discovery.
I often welcome change, and it doesn't scare me like it does a lot of people - but I've had to adjust to A LOT of changes all at once. Adjusting to moving back home with my mum & moving away from my close friends, adjusting to a self-led, quieter & less sociable work environment, adjusting to being single again. The list goes on.
There's been a mix of emotions this month, but it's mostly been positive.
A lot of my achievements have been invisible - something I like to call ‘mini victories’ - which is what life is all about right? Small steps to get to the bigger goals?
Positives this Month
With regards to PhD, I’ve been working on my Application for Registration – it’s been good to lay down my studies for the next 3 years – to fully get my head around the aims, objectives and the different ways I may be able to disseminate my research. I’ve had some good feedback from my supervisors - they’ve said I’ve done well so far.
There was a lot of red pen of amendments/feedback on my drafts….but I’ve read in a lot of other blogs that it’s normal. Your supervisors are there to guide and advise you on how to make your work of publishing standard. So I’ve been fine about the feedback – if anything, I’m really grateful for it – you know when you just need inspiration for something to be phrased differently? My own narrative gets a bit samey at times!! but I’ve nearly finished Draft 3 now!
I submitted my first ever Abstract to the East Midlands Doctoral Student Conference this month. Only some Abstracts are chosen from each University, so even if I don’t get chosen to present my proposed research via a virtual presentation, I enjoyed writing a summary and it's great practice for the future!
Away from work – I’ve kept to my goal of doing something sociable every week to help me feel connected to people.
Earlier in the month I finally met a fellow PhD student (face-to-face!) Alex, for a coffee in Derby which was lovely. Then just last week I met up with another soon to be PhD colleague, Nikki – it’s so nice that I’m starting to develop a little supportive circle now and we all have a lot in common.
I also went out for dinner with my Mum for the first time since February. We sat in the glorious sunshine with a summery glass of Pimms. It was so lovely to do that together after so long.
The highlight has to be going on walks in the sun with friends and the dog, Pip, who we have been looking after for 2 weeks!
I’m looking forward to some leave in August to hopefully see some friends further afield (if Covid allows…).
Struggles this Month: (I won’t bang on about this too much...as trying to be positive!)
Exercise and training has been consistent since April (running, cycling and resistance work) but felt quite fatigued mid-July so I decided I needed a steady month – I had a well needed easy week, I've reduced the volume a bit and I’m starting to get my energy back again now!
In the latter part of the month I had loads of cluster migraines and awful tension headaches. I sometimes get headaches in clusters for a few days....but these lasted over 2 weeks! I wonder if it’s because of the increased screen time with PhD or over-training or if it was just my body adjusting to all the change. Anyway, I’m relieved these have settled now after a short-term prescription from my GP.
What has been on my mind a lot this month is my Uncle, Tony.
This time of year is difficult for family and I, as unfortunately I suddenly lost my uncle on 4th August 2 years ago. We were super close, he was like a 2nd Dad to me. I've made sure to stay busy this week but I’ve also given myself some time out to commemorate and reflect on the cherished memories we shared together.
So moving on to self-discovery: With all the change the past few months, particularly with the end of a long-term relationship, it has allowed me to focus on myself, and find out what parts of me, make me, ME!
I've started to redefine my personal values and also what attributes I would like in not just a romantic relationship but also in family members and trustworthy friends.
Viewing things retrospectively is tough...but the discomfort is where you learn the most about yourself and how you deserve to be treated.
I’ve learnt that people surprise you - in good ways and in bad ways. I often don’t notice warning signs of people's true colours or intentions - meaning I fall into to the trap of trusting too easily - but the best thing is that I have recognised this and can change it!
I’m slowly but surely developing a newfound happiness in myself, albeit a little cautious, but building that up in yourself, independent of others, is so so important!
Songs of the month: Know your worth (Khalid, Disclosure)
Would You Call That Love (Kelly Clarkson)
Think About Things (Daõi Freyr)
Quote of the month: I’m not massively religious – but this one resonates. ‘If we truly want God’s perspective then it’s wise to learn to be introspective and take a retrospective look at some past hurdles. We will realise that there’s a fortifying perspective that only comes when we go through’ [Hebrews 5:8] (Daniel de Eagle | Oma Asa).
Hope everyone is well & enjoys what will hopefully be a sunny August for us all!
I dedicate this month’s blog to my Uncle, Tony. I know he will have a beaming smile on his face with what I’ve achieved in the last few years – here’s to making you proud in the years to come xxx
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