A lot has changed in my life over the past 2 months - I've left my lovely little set up I had in Market Harborough and moved back in with my Mum in Nottingham, I've split up from my boyfriend (after 1.5 years) and then a change of job!
Starting a PhD is a pretty scary prospect for anyone in normal circumstances but starting virtually was a little different and something I won't forget for a while! Luckily I already knew my Director of Studies fairly well from my previous institution and I'd met my two other supervisors at my interview who seemed really nice and easy going. My initial meeting with them was all fine and I was made to feel really welcome. But during my first week or two I had a lot of Teams meetings with people I had never met before, some were current PhD students which was less nerve racking but others were very experienced academics who I would be working with at some point or would be my big bosses! It was hard to know if I was making a good impression virtually, as you just don't get the same non-verbal interpersonal cues as you would in person. It's not possible to accurately pick up on people's body language, eye contact and mannerisms through a screen! I just tried to be polite and stay calm while I tried to work out who everyone was and how the confusing IT system works!
Day 1 in the role was lovely. My supervisory team were very welcoming and I already felt that I'd be well looked after and supported through the process. I enjoyed organising things on my first day, I got all my computer folders sorted and did some brainstorming to get my initial thoughts out on paper - fail to prepare and all that!!
Day 2 onwards involved reading lots of regulations and manuals, along with starting to read some journal articles related to my research. I also met with 2 current students on Teams in my first week - one was about a year into her PhD and the other was due to start later in the year but had a lot of experience working at the University. They were both lovely girls and it helped hearing about their experiences and academic journey up until this point. It was also nice to meet people I can relate to while we all go through this PhD process. Hopefully we can meet in person and go for a coffee when we are allowed on campus again. They said they would give me a proper tour of the campus as I haven't even seen it fully yet! Admittedly I did come away from the Teams calls feeling a bit behind - which is silly I know? I had only just started so of course I wasn't going to feel as prepared as they were? I suppose during this process it's going to be hard not to compare yourself to other PhD researchers - but on reflection - everyone is doing completely different topics that will have their own unique challenges and timelines. Also with the risk of a second wave of covid-19, who knows what impact that will have on our research over the coming months, it's so uncertain!
I've attended loads of virtual webinars and conferences this month which has taken up a bulk of my time but they have been super interesting! They really got the cogs turning and inspired me to get cracking with my work! I have been feeling rather guilty that I've spent all this time attending webinars though...which again is silly of me because everything I have attended has be closely linked to my area of PhD research?!
June has flown by, I don't really know what else I've been doing work wise? I definitely spent a fair few of those days feeling quite low, overwhelmed, unproductive and unmotivated....which was hard because I started to worry about why I was feeling that way when I have been given such a great opportunity!
I was honest to my DoS about how I was feeling a bit behind/overwhelmed. He was really helpful and sent me this great quote in an email afterwards: 'A PhD is a long road but in the end, the race is only with yourself'
And that's so true.
Although your supervisors are there to guide you - it's a completely self-led process, so you really have to be disciplined but also compassionate with yourself! After a couple of days I picked myself up and started to understand the structure of my first piece of work that is due in September. I've set some internal deadlines with my supervisors to work towards over the next 4 weeks, so that should help give me some direction and keep my focus!
I've been reading a lot of advice on findaphd.com about common challenges people face and I think the most valuable lesson I've learnt in my first month is that I have to set myself little daily and weekly goals, and not just focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe my first goal should be to stop feeling guilty for spending time on CPD opportunities and networking?! I'm allowed to take I'm away from my own research and get inspired by other people's work!
I've learnt it's important to set yourself boundaries - if you know you've put more than enough hours in that week - then try not to get into the habit of working on your weekends - weekends should be for having fun and recuperating! And one weekend a month I'm going to be reflecting by writing this blog!
Also I've been making the effort to see a friend in person once a week (or multiple phone calls). If you know me well you'll know I need a good old chat to keep me sane! Shame that it's just been a cuppa or lunch in people's gardens at the moment but being able to get out of the 4 walls of my house has done me good! Shout out to one of my best friends Rachel - it's been great to rekindle and see you more often again!
Favourite songs of the month: Same Old Love - Selena Gomez Say So - Doja Cat Don't Rush - Young T & Bugsey
Quote of the month: ‘Embrace the period of self-awareness to overcome past blocks that have held you back. Awaken the truths that you have kept hidden, and see your brilliant light’ (Unknown).
So all in all it's been an interesting month with lots of change and learning but lots of exciting things to look forward to in my career!
If you've got this far...thanks for reading :)
Stay safe,
Cathers x
Comments